8/2/2022: Ayman Zawahiri Goes to Hell
PLUS: Grow a Beard, Get Laid; Beyonce Backtracks; and Gene Simmons Calls It Quits
Today is Tuesday, August 2, 2022.
It is the 214th day of the year.
151 days remain.
NFL fans reacted to the news of Deshaun Watson’s suspension. More in Sports.
In honor of National Girlfriend Day, Twitter users bragged about, shared photos of and confessed their undying love to their girlfriends. There were also some tweets about not being able to celebrate the day on account of not having a girlfriend.
#Aug1 was trending yesterday as Twitter users welcomed the first day of the new month.
The DailyMail reports that the re-infection rate for patients taking Paxlovid to treat covid symptoms is about 40% – a far cry from the 2% that was initially advertised.
The news comes in the context of President JOE BIDEN’s re-infection. The White House doc says Biden will not take Paxlovid again.
A zebra is on the loose in Miller County, Missouri.
The animal was bought three months ago for a private farm. The owner thinks the zebra was spooked by traffic noise, causing it to run off.
While looking for it, the owner says he did manage to hit it with a tranquilizer dart – but it wasn’t enough to bring it down.
BY THE WAY: Local media points out the zebra was purchased and is owned legally.
Pella – the window and door company – is headquartered in a small town in Iowa.
Like most companies, they’ve been struggling to attract employees, a problem compounded by not having a lot of amenities and infrastructure to offer people who might relocate.
The Wall Street Journal reports that the company will have spent up to $30 million by the end of this year to fix that problem. The company and its key shareholders have invested in things like new housing, childcare centers, entertainment offerings, and restaurants.
The expansion isn’t just to keep up with an unpredictable labor market; they’re looking to double revenue by 2025 from 2020 levels.
WORTH NOTING: The annual operating budget for Pella, Iowa, is $47 million. Pella’s annual revenue is about $1 billion.
Here’s a good way to pick up chicks: maintain a beard that looks about 10 days old.
A University of Queensland (Australia) study shows that’s the ideal length to grab a woman’s attention. Researchers showed women pictures of men clean-shaven, with five days’ growth, 10 days’ growth, and a full-on beard.
Women who were just looking for a bit of fun favored the five- and ten-day stubble, while those looking for something long-term favored the ten-day stubble and full beard.
Clean-shaven guys were the least popular.
JUST FOR FUN: Play with this World Map to see the most famous person to hail from your home town. It’s not searchable, but you can spin around the globe to see the birthplaces of famous folks. The more you zoom in, the more results you get.
BY THE NUMBERS
📈 Stocks were mostly flat Monday. The Dow lost 46 points (0.14%) to close at 32,798. The S&P 500 lost 11 points (0.28%) to close at 4,118 while the Nasdaq lost 21 points (0.18%) to close at 12,368.
🛢 Oil tumbled Monday, with West Texas Intermediate falling nearly $5 a barrel to $93.89. Brent Crude was trading right around $100.
⛽ The national average price of a gallon of gas was $4.21 on Monday. It was $2.85 a gallon at the start of August 2018.
₿ Bitcoin fell Monday, losing more than $300 and trading just shy of $23,000.
🛩 There were 3,018 flight delays into, within, or out of the United States on Monday and 289 such cancellations.
Top 5 Songs on iTunes:
John Rich, “Progress”
Beyonce, “Break My Soul”
Kate Bush, “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)”
Jax, “Victoria’s Secret”
Lizzo, “About Damn Time”
Top 5 Songs on Spotify:
Beyonce, “Summer Renaissance”
Lizzo, “About Damn Time”
Post Malone & Doja Cat, “I Like You (A Happier Song)”
Harry Styles, “As It Was”
Kate Bush, “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)”
JON BON JOVI’s son, JESSE BONGIOVI, 27, is engaged to his girlfriend, TV producer JESSE LIGHT, 23.
The pair have been dating since 2018.
Jesse’s brother JAKE BONGIOVI and his girlfriend, actress MILLIE BOBBY BROWN, sent congratulatory wishes from London.
President JOE BIDEN announced Monday evening that a weekend drone strike in Afghanistan killed al Qaeda chief AYMAN AL-ZAWAHIRI.
The terrorist was considered Osama bin Laden’s successor, and was bin Laden’s personal physician for a while.
WORTH REMEMBERING: As part of Biden’s disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan, the president declared Al Qaeda vanquished.
WORTH ASKING: Zawahiri was apparently killed in Afghanistan — what do you suppose he was doing there with the Taliban?
Local media in Taiwan reports that Speaker NANCY PELOSI will visit the country today.
She’s in Southeast Asia for a multi-country tour and by Monday evening had not confirmed her intentions.
China has vaguely threatened military intervention if Pelosi steps foot in Taiwan.
A spokesman for China’s foreign ministry has said, “We would like to tell the United States once again that China is standing by, the Chinese People’s Liberation Army will never sit idly by, and China will take resolute responses and strong countermeasures to defend its sovereignty and territorial integrity.”
In Gallup polls, President JOE BIDEN averaged a 40% approval rating throughout his sixth quarter in office, from April 20 to July 19 this year.
WORTH NOTING: This is the lowest sixth-quarter job approval rating for a president in modern history.
MEANWHILE: In a matchup between Trump and Biden, Trump leads 46-to-40 percent, according to Rasmussen.
An analysis of the so-called Inflation Reduction Act by financial firm Moody’s shows the legislation actually will bring down inflation … by one-third of one percent … by the year 2031.
WORTH ASKING: Why aren’t Democrats ever interested in long term effects when it comes to things like gas prices and drilling for oil or cultural rot or balancing the costs and benefits of an overly aggressive pandemic management strategy? They only seem to tout long term benefits when there actually aren’t any.
MEANWHILE: The Congressional Joint Committee on Taxation reports the legislation would add $16.7 BILLION in new taxes on Americans who earn less than $200,000 a year next year alone, and another $14.1 billion on those who earn between $200,000 and $500,000 a year.
WORTH NOTING: This directly violates Biden’s “promise” not to raise taxes on people who make less than $400,000 a year.
Remember when electing JOE BIDEN president would restore America’s standing around the world? And how Biden was going to stare down VLADIMIR PUTIN, who he says he called a killer?
Now, Russia is left miffed about a White House proposal to renegotiate the START Treaty, which is set to expire in 2026 and lays rules for the size of each country’s nuclear arsenals.
Here’s what one Russian foreign ministry source tells Reuters: “Is this a serious statement or has the White House website been hacked?” and “If this is still a serious intention, with whom exactly do they intend to discuss it?”
MEANWHILE: Russia is reportedly preparing to reject the White House’s proposed prisoner swap for BRITTNEY GRINER and PAUL WHELAN. The US offered to trade a convicted arms smuggler who had plans to kill Americans. The Russians reportedly want another prisoner in the trade.
An Illinois resident is the big winner of Friday’s $1.28 BILLION Mega Millions drawing -- the second largest MM jackpot ever.
Tonight’s drawing will be for a $20 million jackpot or a $11.6 million cash payout.
NAOMI JUDD left her two daughters WYNONNA JUDD and ASHLEY JUDD out of her last will and testament.
According to court docs obtained by Page Six, Naomi appointed her husband LARRY STRICKLAND as the executive of her estate. If he was unable to fulfill the position due to “death or any other reason,” the docs state that Naomi wanted her brother-in-law REGINALD STRICKLAND to be the executor.
RadarOnline.com claims Wynonna is “upset” about being excluded because she was one-half of the country duo, The Judds, with her mom.
Naomi’s estate is estimated at around $25 million, according to CelebrityNetWorth.com.
As many may remember, Naomi died by suicide in April of this year.
After adding another 100 dates to their tour last month, GENE SIMMONS says this will be his last with KISS.
Talking to The Post, Simmons said that wearing “40 pounds of armor” and “7-inch dragon boots” is “too much work” for a 73-year-old.
KISS just wrapped up the European leg of their tour and are now heading to Australia.
DRAKE was forced to postpone his performance last night alongside NICKI MINAJ and LIL WAYNE after testing positive for covid.
The Young Money reunion performance was to be held at Toronto's Budweiser Stage as part of Drake’s October World Weekend festival.
The festival kicked off on Thursday at the rapper’s History nightclub, with a surprise performance by NELLY FURTADO.
BEYONCE is removing a lyric from her new song “Heated” after some criticism on social media.
The track, which was recently released on her seventh studio album “Renaissance,” was called out by disability advocates over her use of the word “spazz.” In response, Bey’s rep said the word was not intentionally used in a harmful way, but it will be replaced.
The term “spastic” is often used by doctors to describe someone with a disability that makes it difficult to control one’s muscles, such as cerebral palsy.
WORTH NOTING: Lizzo also recently removed the word “spazz” from one of her songs after facing the same backlash.
LUKE BRYAN and PEYTON MANNING will co-host the 56th annual CMA Awards.
Bryan hosted the show solo last year.
The 2022 CMA Awards will air November 9.
ZOEY DEUTCH and DYLAN O’BRIEN star in the new Hulu movie, “Not Okay.”
The film centers on a woman in her 20s, played by Deutch, who “finds followers and fame when she poses as the survivor of a deadly attack, but soon learns that the notoriety comes with a terrible place,” per IMDb.
O’Brien plays a social media influencer named Colin.
NBC has renewed “Weakest Link” for a third season.
The game show, hosted by JANE LYNCH, sees eight contestants work together to bank the maximum amount of prize money in each round by correctly answering general knowledge questions. At the end of each round contestants vote to eliminate who they consider to be the “weakest link.”
Season 2 debuted in March with 13 episodes -- Season 3 will feature 20 episodes.
The upcoming season of CW’s “The Flash,” will be the last.
According to Deadline, Season 9 will debut in 2023 and consist of only 13 episodes -- the shortest season of the series.
The series finale will air just ahead of the June 23 release of “The Flash” movie starring EZRA MILLER as the titular character
“Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” alum TAYLOR ARMSTRONG is returning to the franchise, but this time as a member of the “Real Housewives of Orange County.”
PEOPLE reports that Armstrong joined the upcoming season as a “Friend” on the show.
She is the first Housewife to make the jump between franchises.
Season 20 of “Top Chef” is heading to London.
It will be the first time the series shoots an entire season abroad.
PADMA LAKSHMI will return as host, along with judges TOM COLICCHIO and GAIL SIMMONS.
AMBER HEARD sold her three-bedroom, three-bathroom Yucca Valley estate.
The home, which sits on six acres, was purchased off-market for $1.05 million.
Heard purchased the home for $570,000 in 2019.
Perhaps she will put the difference toward the $8.3 million she has been ordered to pay her ex-husband, JOHNNY DEPP.
THE DAILY KARDASHOPUS
Kardashian fans are curious about where all of the famous family’s dogs have gone.
TikToker Jessica Weslie Arena asked “Where are the Kardashians’ and Jenners’ dogs?” in a recent video, complete with photos of the reality stars and their pooches.
She specifically mentioned KENDALL JENNER’s dog, Blue, KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN’s dog, Honey and KIM KARDASHIAN’s puppies, SUSHI, SAKI and SOBA. Arena pointed out that KYLIE JENNER is the only one who seems to feature her pups on her social media from time to time.
Responses to the clip included: “They need to understand pets aren’t accessories,” and “I had no idea how many pets went missing…”
WE’LL NEVER BE ROYALS
The contents of PRINCE PHILIP’s will, will not be made public.
Last year a judge ruled that the will would be sealed and kept private for at least 90 years. Several media outlets challenged the fact that they were kept out of the hearing that led to that ruling, as wills are usually made public record.
In response to their complaint, a judge ruled that there were “exceptional” circumstances for the hearing to be held in private, The Telegraph reports.
WORTH NOTING: The ruling should come as no surprise, as it has been common practice for over a century to keep the wills of royal family members sealed.
Cleveland Browns QB DESHAUN WATSON has been suspended for six games without pay for violating the NFL’s personal conduct policy.
The suspension comes in light of several sexual misconduct accusations from nearly two dozen massage therapists.
A condition of his reinstatement -- post suspension -- is that he only be allowed to work with club-approved massage therapists for the remainder of his career, according to ESPN.
DAY OF THE YEAR
National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
National Coloring Book Day
ON THIS DATE
1377 – BATTLE ON PYANA RIVER– The Blue Hoard of Arapsha defeats Russian forces.
The Russian troops were under the direction of Ivan Dmitriyevich. The army arrived at the river and realized that the enemy forces would not arrive for at least a day.
It was very hot and uncomfortable so the Russians spent the day drinking.
When the Blue Hoard came across, the Russians were too intoxicated to fight and were forced to retreat. Many Russian soldiers, along with their commander, drowned in the river while attempting to escape. The Blue Hoard easily killed the remaining Ruskies.
1610 - English explorer Henry Hudson enters the bay that would later be named after him — the Hudson Bay.
1776 - The formal signing of the Declaration of Independence takes place — 56 signatures are added.
This is the date accepted by modern historians.
1790 – The first US Census is conducted.
The census was performed under Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson. In the original census only the head of the household was named and other members of the house were simply recorded as a number. Beginning in 1850, all members in a household were named.
The population of the US according to the first census was 3,929,326.
1865 - Lewis Carroll publishes “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.”
The book, commonly called “Alice in Wonderland,” details the story of a young girl named Alica who falls through a rabbit hole into a fantasy land filled with human-like creatures.
It is known as one of the best works of Victorian literature.
1937 – The Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 is passed, making marijuana and its by-products illegal.
There was wide speculation that executives in the paper industry were pushing for the act because hemp was beginning to be used as a replacement for paper pulp in newsprint.
Doctors were upset with the measure because they had become accustomed to prescribing marijuana on a regular basis for numerous ailments.
1989 - NASA confirms Voyager 2’s discovery of 3 more moons of Neptune.
The moons were tentatively named 1989 N2, 1989 N3 & 1989 N24.
2017 - Prince Philip, 96, makes his final solo public appearance before retiring.
He had announced his plans to retire in May, after completing 22,000 solo appearances over seven decades.
2019 - Ed Sheeran’s “Divide” tour becomes the most attended and highest grossing tour of all time.
Sheeran performed in front of more than 8.5 million people across 43 countries, breaking U2’s record of 7.3 million.
Jabari Banks - actor, “Bel-Air” - 24
Austin Theory - wrestler - 25
Kristaps Porzingis - basketball player - 27
Cassidy Gifford - actress, “Time Trap” & “The Gallows” - 29
Charli XCX - pop singer - 30
Skylar Diggins - basketball player - 32
Britt Nicole - pop singer - 38
Sam Worthington - actor, “Clash of the Titans” & “Avatar” - 46
Kevin Smith - director, “Dogma” & “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” - 52
Mary-Louise Parker - actress, “Weeds” - 58
Butch Patrick - actor, “The Munsters” - 69
Born On This Date
Wes Craven - director, “Nightmare on Elm Street” & “Scream” - 1939 (d. 2015)
Frederic-Auguste Bartholdi - sculptor, designed the Statue of Liberty - 1834 (d. 1904)
Thanks for reading Morning Martini! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work.