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A weekday morning newsletter of cultural tidbits, celebrity gossip, and stuff that's good to know to get you through the day.

8/11/2022: Math 101: 8.5% > 0

PLUS: Steve Martin Settles Down, Elon Cashes Out, and Royals Fret “The Crown”

Aug 11, 2022

Today is Thursday, August 11, 2022.

It is the 223rd day of the year.

142 days remain.

HIT LIST

ELON MUSK has cashed out a bunch of Tesla stock to have cash on hand if a court enforces his acquisition of Twitter later this year. He offloaded about $7 billion worth, despite pledging earlier in the acquisition fiasco that he wouldn’t use Tesla stock to finance the deal.

Taking to (where else?) Twitter, Musk said: “In the (hopefully unlikely) event that Twitter forces this deal to close *and* some equity partners don’t come through, it is important to avoid an emergency sale of Tesla stock.”

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Walmart is taking another step to compete with Amazon.

An Amazon Prime subscription doesn’t just offer quick delivery on countless items, but also provides access to Amazon’s video streaming platform.

Walmart has a priority shipping program of its own called Walmart+.

The New York Times reports that Walmart has been in talks with Disney, Paramount, and Comcast to add subscriptions to their various streaming offerings as a benefit of a Walmart+ subscription, which already includes six months free access to Spotify.

BUT WAIT: It’s not like Disney is hurting for subscribers. On Wednesday they reported they now have more than 152 million subscribers on Disney+. By contrast, Hulu had 46.2 million and ESPN+ had 22.8 million and Netflix fights to keep its audience.

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French officials have had to euthanize a beluga whale after trying to rescue it from the Seine river.

The 13-foot aquatic mammal got stuck in the shallow water, and rescuers deployed a crane to get the 1,700 foot whale onto a refrigerated truck where it could be transported back to the coast.

But the 80-person operation that included divers, researchers, and law enforcement weren’t fast enough and the whale wasn’t strong enough to survive. This species is native to the Arctic where temperatures are much colder.

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COLLEGE SHMOLLEGE: American High School Graduates are foregoing college at an increasing rate.

NBC News reports that there are 4 million fewer college students today versus a decade ago.

A third of Americans say the cost of a degree isn’t worth it anymore either.

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A federal court ruling in Michigan might have widespread repercussions for how local law officials enforce parking tickets.

The judge ruled that the practice of chalking tires without a warrant is unconstitutional. Meter maids will often draw a small mark with chalk on the tires of vehicles in time-restricted areas to easily determine whether or not they’ve moved within the allotted parking time.

The ruling is the result of a class action lawsuit against the practice. The judge ruled the Fourth Amendment protections against unreasonable searches and seizures prohibit the practice.

This doesn’t necessarily mean municipalities will stop the practice immediately, but could be an encouraging step against onerous law enforcement activity.

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If you’re going to try to poison your husband, don’t get caught doing it on camera.

CBS News reports that a man from Irvine, California grew suspicious earlier this year when he started to experience “unusual symptoms” back in March and April that caused stomach ulcers and esophageal inflammation. Suspecting his wife – who in a restraining order he says also caused physical, verbal, and emotional abuse to him and their two children – he set up cameras around the house.

That’s when he spotted her casually pouring Drano into his drinks on three separate occasions.

She was arrested last week but has since been released. A restraining order remains in effect.

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BY THE NUMBERS

📈 The Dow added 535 points (1.63%) on Wednesday to close at 33,309. The S&P 500 added 87 points (2.13%) to close at 4,210 while the Nasdaq added 360 points (2.89%) to close at 12,854.

🛢 West Texas Intermediate was trading at $91 Wednesday afternoon and Brent Crude ticket up past $97.

⛽ The national average price of a gallon of gas was $4.01 on Wednesday and is expected to drop under $4 imminently.

₿ Bitcoin surged Wednesday morning to pick up more than $500, trading around $23,600 Wednesday.

🛩 There were 3,484 flight delays into, within, or out of the United States on Wednesday and 369 such cancellations.

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CHARTS

British grandmother Nora Shaw celebrated her 106th birthday over the weekend with a naked butler.

Eddy, who works for the Butlers in the Buff agency, was a gift from Nora’s daughter, after the cheeky woman asked for a “hunky man” for her big day.

He served Nora and her fellow assisted living residents sandwiches, scones and fizzy drinks all while they eyed up his bare buttocks. The birthday girl also received over 200 birthday cards from people across the UK.

Based on Nora’s smile in this photo, it's safe to say she enjoyed her birthday surprise!

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DEATHS

GENE LEBELL has died.

The Hollywood stuntman and martial artist passed away Tuesday. The Hollywood Reporter says he died in his sleep.

He was 89.

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CHAS MISHKIN has died.

The Broadway producer passed away on July 24 at her home in Manhattan. Her daughter told the New York Times that her mom had dementia and had suffered two strokes.

She was 85.

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UMA PEMMARAJU has died.

She was one of the original anchors of Fox News when it launched in 1996. She passed away on August 8. No cause of death has been shared.

She was 84.

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THE SWAMP

Just two days after FBI jackboots conducted a nine-hour raid on former President DONALD TRUMP’s Florida home, he sat for a deposition on Wednesday in New York for investigators working on behalf of New York State Attorney General LETITIA JAMES.

James is conducting an investigation into Trump’s company, The Trump Organization.

But Trump pleaded the fifth, invoking his right to not self-incriminate.

In a statement, Trump said, “I once asked, ‘If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?’ Now I know the answer to that question.”

He added, “When your family, your company, and all the people in your orbit have become the targets of an unfounded, politically motivated Witch Hunt supported by lawyers, prosecutors, and the Fake News Media, you have no choice.”

MEANWHILE: Trump’s legal team successfully petitioned a federal judge to order the FBI to unseal the search warrant by August 15.

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The IRS is hiring!

A job posting reveals one very suspicious job duty: “Carry a firearm and be willing to use deadly force, if necessary” and “Be willing and able to participate in arrests, execution of search warrants, and other dangerous assignments.”

IT GETS WORSE: Once this job posting was brought to light, the IRS took its entire online jobs center offline.

IT GETS EVEN WORSE: Between March and the end of May, the IRS spent nearly $700,000 on ammunition.

WORTH ASKING: Why? Were they hoping no one would notice?

BY THE WAY: The first ten months of the Fed's fiscal year reflected yet another record in taxes and fees, with more than $4.1 trillion in revenue. That’s a 13.9% increase from the same period in 2021.

Once again, this happened with the Trump-era tax cuts still in place.

WORTH REMEMBERING: Policy to increase taxes simply is not about generating revenue to pay for all of the left’s bogus programs. Tax policy is a cudgel to punish success that happens in spite of the government.

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The Consumer Price Index increased 8.5% year over year in July, meaning inflation still runs rampant.

But just days after redefining a recession, the White House and its media bootlickers are redefining inflation, too. White House Chief of Staff tweeted that inflation is AcKShuAlLy 0%, because last month it was more than 9%.

WORTH ASKING: If inflation is zero, why does Congress need to pass the Inflation Reduction Act?

WORTH NOTING: For those new to numbers, 8 is still more than zero, and Americans are still paying 8.5% more for the same products that they were last year.

IT GETS WORSE: Inflation in July 2021 was 5.4%. So something that cost $100 in 2020 is now about $115.

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LOTTERY

No winner for Tuesday night’s Mega Millions drawing. Friday night’s drawing will be for a $65 million jackpot or a $37.9 million cash payout.

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SHOWBIZ NEWS

OLIVIA WILDE says her ex-fiance JASON SUDEIKIS used “outrageous legal tactics” by having her publicly served with custody papers.

“He could have served me discreetly,” she claimed in a recent court filing.

As many may remember, Wilde was caught totally off guard when she received Sudeikis legal papers while on stage at CinemaCon. Sources close to Sudeikis claim he had no idea she would be served in such a matter.

The former couple have been fighting over custody of their two young children.

UPDATE: A judge ruled Wednesday that the kids will reside in Los Angeles, not Brooklyn. This is technically a win for Wilde, who was seeking to keep them in California.

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British musician MARCUS MUMFORD revealed in a new interview with GQ magazine that he was sexually abused when he was six-years-old.

The abuse and subsequent trauma is the basis of his upcoming solo album “Self-Titled.”

Mumford is the lead singer of the band Mumford & Sons.

“Self-Titled” is scheduled for release on September 16.

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The investigation into VINCE MCMAHON was supposed to wrap up this week, but new information came to light revealing that the former WWE head honcho made more off-the-books payments than initially thought.

Last month the company announced it would comb through past financial statements to account for the $14.6 million in payments McMahon made that had been recorded as “company expenses.” During that recheck, another two payments -- totaling $5 million -- were discovered.

While the initial $14.6 million was paid as hush money by McMahon to keep multiple women quiet about affairs, it is unclear what the $5 million was for.

The investigation is ongoing.

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STEVE MARTIN will be stepping back from the big -- and small -- screen after his time on the Hulu series “Only Murders in the Building” comes to an end.

“When the show is done, I’m not going to seek others,” he told The Hollywood Reporter.

As for why he is stepping away, Martin says he wants to “prioritize” his life off screen. But don’t call it a retirement, Martin says “that is too strong a word” for what he is doing.

Martin has been in the entertainment industry since 1968.

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ANGELA YEE is leaving the “Breakfast Club” after 10 years on the morning radio show.

She announced her exit in a tweet, writing “The Breakfast Club is over as you know it.” Her co-hosts, CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD and DJ ENVY fully support her move.

Yee will be hosting her own show, “Way Up with Angela Yee” for iHeartRadio.

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After canceling his world tour last month SHAWN MENDES says he is trying to spend more time on the “simple things in life.”

Along with therapy, Mendes told TMZ that he is spending time with his family, friends and doing “regular” things like going out to dinner to regain his “life balance.”

As previously reported, the pop star announced he was canceling his tour to focus on his mental health.

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CASTING CALL

“Breaking Bad” creator VINCE GILLIGAN is working on his next project.

The new series will see Gilligan separate from the world of drugs and crimes that fans have gotten used to with “Breaking Bad” and “Better Call Saul,” the latter of which is soon ending.

Insiders told Deadline that in the new series Gilligan will “explore themes of bending reality while holding a mirror to humanity.”

More details are expected to come out in the next couple of weeks. Multiple networks and platforms are already chomping at the bit to land it.

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ALEC BALDWIN and OLY KURYLENKO are set to star in the spy action thriller “Chief of Station.”

The story follows former CIA Station Chief, played by Baldwin, who learns the death of his wife was not an accident. He then teams up with a rogue agent (Kurylenko) to unravel a conspiracy theory that challenges everything he thought he knew.

Filming is set to begin later this month in Budapest.

WORTH NOTING: It also appears to be Baldwin’s first role since he accidentally killed and injured crew on the set of his movie “Rust” last October.

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A new trailer for Discovery+’s documentary series “House of Hammer” features alleged victims of actor ARMIE HAMMER detailing their experiences.

Two of Hammer’s exes, COURTNEY VUCEKOVICH and JULIA MORRISON, share disturbing messages and voicemails allegedly sent by Hammer.

The three-part series also features Hammer’s aunt CASEY HAMMER, the granddaughter of ARMAND HAMMER, the oil tycoon responsible for the family’s fortune.

“House of Hammer” premieres on September 2.

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“John Wick: Chapter 4” will be the longest-running installment in the franchise.

While the exact runtime has not been revealed, filmmaker CHAD STAHELSKI told Collider that the movie will be longer than two hours and 11 minutes.

“John Wick” ran 101 minutes, “John Wick: Chapter 2” was 122 minutes and “John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum” ran even longer at 131 minutes.

Not only has the runtime increased with each flick, but so have the earnings. The films grossed $86 million, $171.5 million and $327.3 million worldwide, respectively.

“John Wick: Chapter 4” hits theaters on May 23, 2023.

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CRIB NOTES

DUSTIN DIAMOND’s trashed Port Washington, Wisconsin home has finally sold after two years on the market.

The home was put up for sale in the summer of 2020 -- about six months before Diamond’s death -- after a bank threatened foreclosure for unpaid dues.

In May of this year, it finally sold for $276,400 to a real estate developer who has plans to tear it down and build some sort of commercial property, according to The Post.

Diamond, who died in February 2021, purchased the home for $340,000 in 2003.

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THE DAILY KARDASHOPUS

KYLIE JENNER’s boyfriend, TRAVIS SCOTT, sold more than $1 million in merchandise at his weekend concert in London -- marking a record for performers in the UK.

The top spot was previously held by BTS, who grossed just under $1 million during their “Love Yourself World Tour.”

WORTH NOTING: The concert was his first time headlining since last November’s tragic Astroworld festival.

SPEAKING OF THE KARDASHIAN MEN: In spite of doctor’s orders KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN’s husband, TRAVIS BARKER, is heading back on tour. MACHINE GUN KELLY announced Wednesday that Barker will join him for the remaining shows on his tour. Barker currently has a broken thumb, which apparently he thinks won’t hinder his ability to play the drums. Also, just last month he was hospitalized with pancreatitis.

AND ANOTHER ONE: Former Kardashian husband, LAMAR ODOM, was seen house shopping in Hidden Hills. If that name sounds familiar, it's because it is the same neighborhood where his ex-wife KHLOE KARDASHIAN currently lives.

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WE’LL NEVER BE ROYALS

The royal family is worried about the “very painful” claims that will likely be made against CAMILLA and PRINCE CHARLES in the upcoming season of Netflix’s “The Crown.”

A royal insider told the Daily Star that the family’s concerns come from the fact that Season 5 will focus on PRINCESS DIANA, all the way up to her death.

They fear the storyline “will blame Camilla because the last one [Season 4] was very unkind [to] her,” the insider added.

Season 5 premieres November 2022.

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SPORTS

Swimming prodigy-turned-singer CODY SIMPSON will represent Australia in a swim meet against the US later this month.

He has been selected to compete for his home country in the Duel in the Pool on August 20-21.

The race comes on the heels of his triumphs at the Commonwealth Games earlier this month, where he took home gold in the 4x100 freestyle relay and silver in the 4x100 medley relay.

WORTH NOTING: Many may recognize Simpson as MILEY CYRUS’ ex.

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DAY OF THE YEAR

Presidential Joke Day

National Son’s and Daughter’s Day

International Hip Hop Day

National Raspberry Bomb Day

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ON THIS DATE

1806 - Explorer Meriwether Lewis is shot in the hip while hunting elk near the Missouri River.

Lewis believed one of his expeditionary crew had fired at him by accident: Pierre Cruzatte was blind in one eye and nearsighted in the other. But when Lewis shouted, “Dam you, you have shot me!” there was no response.

At first he feared his colleague was attacked by Native Americans and rallied men to find him. But they eventually found him well, and Cruzatte denied firing the shot.

Lewis was fine, though he had to spend a few days lying face down in a canoe. The bullet matched the slug used in the rifle Cruzatte carried, but he went to his grave denying having fired the shot.

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1934 - The first federal prisoners arrive at Alcatraz Island.

The facility was intended for high-security prisoners as well as those with a history of escape attempts.

A few weeks later, Al Capone would arrive, and “Machine Gun” Kelly in September.

The prison operated for only 29 years. Attorney General Robert Kennedy ordered it shut down in 1963 based on its high maintenance costs.

It’s been a national park service site since 1972.

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1943 - German forces begin their retreat from Sicily following nearly a month of attacks led by General George Patton’s 7th Army and British General Bernard Montgomery’s 8th Army.

It took the Nazis a week to get nearly 40,000 soldiers and 10,000 vehicles onto the Italian mainland, where they regrouped with Italian troops and fortified their position.

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1984 - In a hot mic moment, President Ronald Reagan jokes about bombing Russia. While conducting an audio test for a radio address, Reagan says, “My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.”

The room laughed along with what was obviously a joke but the quip was nonetheless derided by the media as it leaked out in the ensuing days.

Reagan historian Craig Shirley later reported that the derision worked against Democrats in an election year: “They came across as hypersensitive, and Reagan as calm, cool and collected.”

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2008 - One day after an American swim team sets a new Olympic and World record for the 4-by-100 meter relay, another American team crushes it.

Led by Michael Phelps, the four-man team beat France by a solid eight seconds — shaving four seconds off the previous record.

Ironically, Phelps — who won eight gold medals that year — had only the third-fastest pace in his group.

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2020 - Democratic candidate for President, Joe Biden announces he has selected California Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate.

Harris is the first woman of color selected by a major party.

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BIRTHDAYS

Savannah Chrisley - reality star, “Chrisley Knows Best” - 25

Alyson Stoner - actress, “Camp Rock” - 29

Tomi Lahren - TV show host, “TheBlaze” - 30

Tia Booth - reality star, “Bachelor” - 31

Ursula Corbero - actress, “Money Heist” - 33

Adam Thomas - actor, “Emmerdale” - 34

Patty Mills - basketball player - 34

Jacqueline Fernandez - actress, “Aladin,” “Race 2” - 37

Chris Hemsworth - actor, “Thor” - 39

Merritt Wever - actress, “Nurse Jackie” - 42

Will Friedle - actor, “Boy Meets Worlds” - 46

Roger Craig Smith - voice actor, “Sonic the Hedgehog” & “Batman” video games - 47

Joe Rogan - podcast host - 55

Viola Davis - actress, “Fences” & “How to Get Away with Murder” - 57

Embeth Davidtz - actress, “Schindler’s List” & “Matilda” - 57

Hulk Hogan - wrestler - 69

Steve Wozniak - entrepreneur, founder of Apple - 72

Ian McDiarmid - actor, Emperor Palpatine in “Star Wars” - 78

Born On This Date

Alex Haley - author, “Autobiography of Malcolm X” & “Roots” - 1921 (d. 1992)

Jean Parker - actress, “Little Women” - 1915 (d. 2005)

Enid Blyton - children’s author, “The Secret Seven” - 1897 (d. 1968)

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