3/14/2024: TikTok's Clock is Ticking
PLUS: Tax Season 24; “Cowboy Carter”; and Windsor Crash
Today is Thursday, March 14, 2024.
It is the 74th day of the year.
292 days remain.
WHAT’S ON TAP
A private company’s rocket launch ends in disaster in Japan and a woman gets rescued from a storage container. Details in HIT LIST.
NEIL YOUNG is back on Spotify and OLIVIA RODRIGO hands out a controversial souvenir. More in SHOWBIZ.
JOY BEHAR emails the wrong Jimmy and “The Batman” sequel gets delayed. Details in CASTING CALL.
KIM and BIANCA support YE. More in KARDASH.
Another car crash at a royal property. Details in ROYALS.
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HIT LIST
Ahead of Tax Season 2024, the IRS has rolled out its own online filing program – but only for simple returns and in twelve states.
The “Direct File” system is limited to taxpayers who submit only W-2 income and do not itemize deductions. While online filing programs have existed for years, this is the first government-run system, and it’s limited to the federal tax return.
A rep for Intuit, which owns the popular TurboTax system, tells the Associated Press that Direct File is “a thinly veiled scheme that will cost billions of taxpayer dollars to pay for something already completely free of charge today.” TurboTax also supports more complicated returns and has state-filing functionality. [via AP]
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The House of Representatives on Wednesday overwhelmingly approved a bill that would require the Chinese Communist Party-affiliated BYTEDANCE to sell TIKTOK to an American company for the app to continue operating in the United States.
President JOE BIDEN has indicated he would sign the bill into law if the Senate also approves it. So far there has been no definitive word from leadership in the Upper House whether they will take up the bill or how the body is expected to vote. [via Morning Martini]
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A private Japanese space company failed to get its rocket into orbit after a launch on Wednesday, when the rocket exploded just seconds after rising off the pad.
Fortunately, no one was on board, but it did contain a spy satellite for the Japanese government. So far no word on a cause, other than an onboard issue triggering a self-destruct protocol. [via New York Post]
MEANWHILE, IN TEXAS: SPACEX will attempt to launch its Starship rocket this morning during a nearly two-hour launch window opening at 7:00 am Central.
The first launch last April saw the rocket and its payload successfully get off the ground before mechanical failure triggered an explosion about four minutes into flight. A follow-up in November got the rocket to launch and separate from the spaceship, but the rocket later exploded.
Once successfully proven, the Starship rocket will power NASA’s manned Artemis missions to the Moon. [via CBC]
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The tight economy has come for FAMILY DOLLAR, the budget chain store promising low prices on everyday goods. The company will shut down 970 stores in the next few years out of its roughly 8,000 currently open stores.
On top of tight economic times, the company recently received a $40 MILLION fine for a rat infestation at one of its warehouses. While getting back in compliance, it had to temporarily close hundreds of its stores. [via CNN]
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A Florida woman is safe after being reported missing last week.
Marlene Lopez was first reported missing last Wednesday after she failed to pick up her son. The following day she was found inside a shipping container by owner Tyler Sonnenberg who was investigating some banging noises.
Lopez did not appear injured, but was taken to the hospital to be treated for dehydration, as she had reportedly been stuck in the container for nearly 72 hours.
What led her to end up in the shipping container is currently under investigation, though Sonnenberg has his own theory after finding a lighter and a pipe she allegedly left behind. [via Complex]
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DEATHS
PAUL ALEXANDER aka Polio Paul has died.
He passed away Monday in his hometown of Dallas, Texas, according to a post from the Grove Hill Funeral Home & Memorial Park.
Alexander contracted polio in 1952 when he was just 6-years-old. After losing all bodily function, he was placed in an iron lung, where he remained for more than 70 years. Last year he was recognized by Guinness World Records as the longest-surviving iron lung patient.
He was 78.
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SICK BAY
OLIVIA MUNN recently underwent a double mastectomy after battling breast cancer for nearly a year.
The actress updated fans on her health scare Wednesday, sharing a photo of her in a hospital bed, and revealing that she was diagnosed with Luminal B cancer in April 2023.
No word on if she is currently in remission.
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BY THE NUMBERS
📈 The DOW gained 37 points (0.097%) to close at 39,043 on Wednesday. The S&P lost 9 points (0.19%) to close at 5,165 and the NASDAQ lost 87 points (0.54%) to close at 16,177.
🛢 WEST TEXAS INTERMEDIATE closed at $79 on Wednesday; BRENT CRUDE at $83.
⛽ The national average price of a GALLON OF GAS was $3.39 on Wednesday.
₿ BITCOIN’s climb continued Wednesday, up over 2% and trading over $73,000.
🛩 There were more than 2,215 FLIGHTS delayed within, into, or out of the United States on Wednesday and more than 90 such cancellations.
💰Friday night’s MEGA MILLIONS drawing will be for a $792 million jackpot or a $381.8 million cash payout.
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SHOWBIZ NEWS
BEYONCE’s country-themed album will be called “Cowboy Carter.”
The album is “Act II” of her “Renaissance” trilogy.
Bey already released two tracks from the album, “Texas Hold ‘Em” and “16 Carriages.”
No word on when it will drop. [via NY Post]
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NEIL YOUNG’s music is back on Spotify.
After leaving the platform two years ago over what he called “COVID misinformation” being shared on JOE ROGAN’s podcast, Young has now decided to give it another chance.
As for why he decided to return, Young said it’s because Apple and Amazon are now “serving the same disinformation podcast features [he] opposed at SPOTIFY.” He did not elaborate on exactly what “disinformation” he disagreed with.
FOR THE RECORD: Young is not pulling his music from Apple and Amazon, just simply returning things to Spotify. [via Variety]
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OLIVIA RODRIGO handed out free boxes of Plan B and condoms at her recent concerts.
The gesture came after she announced last month that she wanted to help female fans get access to reproductive health care through a Fund 4 Good initiative.
Also, a portion of Rodrigo’s ticket sales go toward the National Network of Abortion Funds. [via The Independent]
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MATTHEW PERRY’s stepdad KEITH MORRISON spoke about the actor’s untimely death on HODA KOTB’s podcast.
Morrison stated that Perry believed he had conquered his addiction and was doing better, though many around him knew this wasn’t the case.
After saying that he wasn’t shocked by Perry’s passing, Morrison added, “He didn’t get to have his third act, and that’s not fair.”
Prior to his death, Perry had been sober for a year-and-a-half. [via TMZ]
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JENNIFER LOPEZ has canceled several shows for her upcoming “This Is Me…Now: The Tour” with zero explanation as to why.
She will no longer perform in Nashville, New Orleans, Raleigh, Atlanta, Houston, Cleveland, Tampa, according to Ticketmaster. Those shows were scheduled from August 22 to August 30.
The tour is JLo’s first in five years. [via NY Post]
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CASTING CALL
JOY BEHAR enjoyed the Oscars so much that she wanted to send a congratulatory email to host JIMMY KIMMEL. She instead sent the email to the other late night funny man -- JIMMY FALLON.
When asked by her co-hosts on “The View” if Fallon responded to her mix-up, she said he did not.
No word on whether Behar reached out to the correct Jimmy. [via The Wrap]
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This will come as a surprise to no one, but SHARON OSBOURNE says OZZY was stoned in every episode of the family’s reality show.
“He was never sober,” Sharon told her “Celebrity Big Brother” castmates, before adding that neither of them ever watched an episode of the show.
“The Osbournes” ran for four seasons on MTV from 2002 to 2005. [via People]
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CATHERINE O’HARA dished on reprising her role as Delia Deetz in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” on the “Let’s Talk Off Camera with Kelly Ripa” podcast.
With director TIM BURTON wanting to “get the old feeling back,” O’Hara says that “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)” by Harry Belafonte made it into the sequel. The song appears in the original when Delia and her dinner guests become possessed by ghosts.
“Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” hits theaters this September. [via EW]
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“The Batman Part II” is being pushed back a year.
Warner Bros. says the sequel will now hit theaters in October 2026 instead of October 2025.
Taking its place will be “The Bride,” starring CHRISTIAN BALE, JESSIE BUCKLEY and PETER SARSGAARD.
As for the cast of “Batman Part II,” it is unclear who is all set to return, other than ROBERT PATTINSON, who will once again play the caped crusader. [via Variety]
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ELON MUSK has pulled the plug on DON LEMON’s self-titled talk show that was set to launch on X next week.
On Wednesday, Lemon posted about getting the boot on X, writing that he was informed of Musk’s decision to end the partnership just hours after the two sat for an interview last Friday. The interview was slated to be part of the debut episode of Lemon’s show. It will still launch on YouTube on March 18, as originally planned.
Replying to Lemon’s post on X, Musk noted that the show was canceled because it was “basically just CNN, but on social media. [...] which doesn’t work, as evidenced by the fact that CNN is dying.” [via THR]
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THE DAILY KARDASHOPUS
KIM KARDASHIAN stood shoulder-to-shoulder with BIANCA CENSORI at YE’s “Vultures” listening party in San Francisco on Tuesday night.
The pairing is odd as just last week reports surfaced that Kim told Bianca that she didn’t want her parading around in risque outfits in front of the kids.
For the record, both women appeared to be appropriately dressed for the listening party, which was also attended by Kim and Ye’s son, Saint. [via Page Six]
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WE’LL NEVER BE ROYALS
COINCIDENCE?: Just days after a car crashed into the front gates of Buckingham Palace, another vehicle crashed into a wall protecting Windsor Castle. Officials say the vehicle spun out into the barrier after crashing into another car Wednesday morning. No word yet on the condition of either driver. [via Morning Martini]
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DAY OF THE YEAR
National Pi Day
National Learn About Butterflies Day
Professional Speakers Celebration Day
National Children’s Craft Day
Popcorn Lover’s Day
National Potato Chip Day
White Day
International Ask a Question Day
Science Education Day
International Day of Mathematics
World Kidney Day
Legal Assistance Day
Dribble to Work Day
Crowdfunding Day
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ON THIS DATE
1592 - This date is known as “Ultimate Pi Day.”
On this date at 6:53 am is the largest correspondence between calendar dates and significant digits of pi.
March is the third month (3). It was the fourteenth day (14). In 1592. At 6:53 am. Put all those numbers in a row and you get the first significant digits of pi: 3.141592653….
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1794 - Eli Whitney receives a patent for his cotton gin invention.
The contraption quickly and efficiently separated cotton fibers from cotton seeds, which eliminated much of the tedious manual labor required to do so by hand.
The textile industry quickly took off following the invention -- but the demand for slave labor also increased, in order to process more cotton.
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1899 - Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin receives an American patent for his rigid airship design.
The Zeppelin blimp was first patented in Germany and called a Lenkbarer Luftfahrzug, or "steerable air-cruising train."
In World War I, zeppelins would become formidable warships for Germany, used for scouting and bombing missions. The most famous Zeppelin disaster was the explosion of the Hindenburg in 1937.
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1950 - The Federal Bureau of Investigation releases its first "Ten Most Wanted" list.
The initiative was meant to inform average citizens of the worst criminals out on the run.
It proved effective: 8 of the 10 were apprehended within a year.
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1964 - Jack Ruby is sentenced to death.
Ruby was found guilty of murdering with malice Lee Harvey Oswald, who was captured following the shooting of President Kennedy.
Ruby’s sentence was handed down on live TV, a first in US history.
In October of 1966, the Texas Court of Appeals reversed the decision, and Ruby died in prison from lung cancer just three months later.
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1990 - Mikhail Gorbachev becomes president of the Soviet Union.
He would eventually oversee the Soviet regime's collapse before the end of the following year.
His election was fairly democratic compared to the standards of the previous decades. He had been a popular politician whose agenda centered on decentralizing Communist Party control.
He would resign as the Soviet Union dissolved, at the hands of his own reforms.
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2006 - Mike Wallace retires from “60 Minutes.”
He hosted the news program for 37 years.
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2018 - A twin study conducted by NASA finds that Scott Kelly is no longer genetically identical to his twin brother after spending one year in space.
The study found that 7% of Scott’s genes were altered. He was also slightly taller than his twin due to the lack of gravity in space.
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2019 - Google employee Emma Karuka Iwao breaks the world record for calculating the most digits of Pi.
She wrote software that computed Pi to 31.4 trillion decimal points.
The previous record was 22.4 trillion digits, set in 2016.
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BIRTHDAYS
Simone Biles - Olympic gymnast - 27
Ansel Elgort - actor, “Carrie” & “Divergent” - 30
Kailyn Lowry - reality star, “Teen Mom” - 32
Ash Urbanski - wrestler - 32
Greta Onieogou - actress, “All American” - 33
Preacher Lawson - comedian - 33
Stephen Curry - basketball player - 36
Sammi Giancola - reality star, “Jersey Shore” - 37
Taylor Hanson - pop singer, Hanson - 41
Brian Quinn - comedian - 48
Daniel Gillies - actor, “The Vampire Diaries” & “The Originals” - 48
Danny Meyer - restaurateur, Shake Shack - 66
Billy Crystal - actor, “When Harry Met Sally” & “City Slickers” - 76
Quincy Jones - music producer - 91
Michael Caine - actor, “Kingsman: The Secret Service” & “The Prestige” - 91
Born On This Date
Kirby Puckett - HOF baseball player - 1960 (d. 2006)
Frank Borman - astronaut, Gemini 7 & Apollo 8 - 1928 (d. 2023)
Albert Einstein - physicist - 1879 (d. 1955)
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